


Clarke Griffin's Guide to Surviving High School

by Case_Closed



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clanya-friendship, Clarke hates everyone, F/F, Finn doesn't exist, Lexa/Raven/Octavia friendship, Ranya later on, Typical HSAU, actually he kind of does, but she also volunteers, read and find out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 05:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7964776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Case_Closed/pseuds/Case_Closed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 1:<br/>I haven't been to my new school yet, but I'm pretty sure it's safe to say I'm gonna hate it.<br/>Yes I will get a lot more depressing from here on but you gotta give me a break.<br/>Well, technically you can't do anything because you're a journal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> Look! Another high school story.  
> So basically I got this idea and had to write it, and it might be terrible. I don't know yet. But read if you want and maybe leave a comment on how bad you think it is. Thanks.

* * *

**Day 1**  
_I haven't been to my new school yet, but I'm pretty sure it's safe to say I'm gonna hate it._  
_Yes I will get a lot more depressing from here on but you gotta give me a break. Well, technically you can't do anything because you're a journal._  
_Either that or you're a person who's going through my private stuff and in that case then I hope you have fun being a stalker. And if you're gonna be a good stalker, you might as well be doing it right._  
_That's correct, I am Clarke Griffin, supporting stalkers since 2016. You wanna know what else I've been doing since 2016? Living in Polis, attending Polis High School and becoming a volunteer at the hospital my mom made us move out here to work for. Not that I'm upset about moving, I'm actually happy about that. Most of the people at my last high school made me want to strangle myself on a hourly- no that's not right- pretty much every minute I wanted to strangle myself._  
_Come and find me if you want, I don't really care. Hell, murder me if you want to. I'm about ninety nine percent sure that death is better than going to school._  
See? Told you I'd get more depressing.  
Anyways, my mom has been yelling at me for the past five minutes to leave for school, and I'm not sure how to explain that I've been writing to my potential stalker. Trust me when I say I'm groaning. I'll continue writing to you later, you the stalker who I am now dubbing Finn.  
_Don't ask why, I just feel like if I ever met a guy named Finn he would be a stalker._  
_I'll tell you how school goes...and if I'm being honest I don't know how to end this so I'm gonna just stop okay?_  
Sounds great.

"Clarke if I have to yell one more time-"

"Chill! I'm going!" The blonde looked down at her journal, biting her lip as she slipped it into her bag. It was probably a bad idea,but if anyone grabbed it chances are they would be disturbed by what she had written in it.

"Clarke!"

"I'm going!" Her mom was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, obviously not trusting her to actually arrive at school on time.

"I get that you don't want to try, but can't you at least wash your hair? For God's sake Clarke I wouldn't be surprised if you had lice." She glared at her mom before bringing her hand up to her scalp and scratching slightly, watching as her mother walked away in annoyance. "Go to school Clarke."

"I don't think that's a good idea, what if I give the other students lice?"

"Clarke!"

She left the house, satisfied by the amount of displeasure she caused her mother to have. In her mind, it'll probably make up for the amount of displeasure she'll have by the time she's finished walking to school.  
And there was plenty.  
She had witnessed three fights, a family that reminded her of the family on Malcolm in the Middle, a dog pack that practically mauled a kid, and a swarm of birds.

Okay, so the only thing she actually witnessed was the family, but it would've been at least kind of cool if she saw the dog pack. It would make seeing the sight of Polis high a lot better.  
A lot. Polis was not a good looking school. At least on the outside, she was hoping it looked less like Alcatraz on the inside.

Clarke was wrong.

"Jesus Christ..." The blonde swallowed, slightly hoping she wouldn't be killed on her way to the office. Didn't help that it was the first day for everyone else too and that everyone was rushing to get their schedule. Though it did help her with one thing

 **_Rule 1: Find out who's popular, and stay the hell away from them._ **  
_The popular people are the worst. Either they are complete assholes or they are way too nice. Yes, there is a problem with people being too nice. Just, trust me Finn, don't deal with popular people. Ever._

The hall grew quiet and people moved aside, leaving the center of the hall clear. Biggest cliche Clarke had ever seen, especially when Three girls started walking down the hall, smiling and greeting other students as they passed by. Clarke turned her head to the side and waited for them to pass, pretending she didn't notice how the girl in the center paused.

Everything went back to as it was when the girls were gone and Clarke went back to being thrown from side to side as she tried to find the office.

This was going to be one hell of a day.

.

It was worse than hell.  
She found her first class and immediately wanted to...cry.

"Ah yes! You must be the new transfer student! Clarke, is that correct?" The teacher was way too cheery, especially for 8:45 in the morning. The blonde blinked her eyes and nodded, trying to figure out what drugs the teacher was probably on. He worked in a prison for Christ's sakes, nobody should be that happy.

"Clarke? What girl is named Clarke? Is this girl real?" Everyone laughed and Clarke rolled her eyes, turning to the boy and staring at him. She then held out her hand and poked it a few times, getting a lot of questioning looks from everyone.

"Clarke, what are doing?" The teacher asked, a little concerned about his students behavior.

"I had to make sure I was real. I mean, I have never been asked that question before so I had to make sure. It is kind of saying something about you though if you have to ask that kind of question." Clarke smirked before taking a seat near the back, absent mindedly listening to the whispered conversations the surrounded her.

"That was quite a show you put on, newbie."

"Yeah sure."

"Not much of a talker?"

"Not much of anything."

"You're not gonna even look at me?"

"Nope."

"That's kind of rude."

"Thought that was established when I practically called that guy an idiot."

"You don't know who I am, don't you?"

"If you are planning on ruining my life because I don't care about this conversation, you should know that my mom works in a hospital so beating me up doesn't concern me very much." The girl, whoever she was, stopped talking after that but continued to glare into the side of Clarke's head. She continued glaring at Clarke's head all throughout the class, meaning Clarke couldn't turn her head at all.  
So when the bell finally rang the blonde hurried to shove her things into her bag, stopping the second she realized the girl was still there.

"I can ruin your life in ways you could never imagine." Clarke finally faced the girl and smirked, noticing the brace on the girls left leg and recognizing her as one of the popular girls.

So she was screwed.

"Bring it."

 **Day 1: Part 2**  
_So I fucked up. The girl, who's name is Raven Reyes, not only has all of my classes, but has successfully made my presence well known to everyone._  
That's kind of my fault as well. There was at least fourteen people that I insulted before lunch even happened. There were so many times that I wished I actually had lice so that people would stop looking at me.  
Of course if I gave everyone lice on the first day, that might be worse than what actually happened.  
On the bright side nothing major has happened yet...which probably means Raven has something major planned for tomorrow. Rule number two, Finn, is never break any rules you make. Today was the obvious reason as to why. I have like thirty rules but I'm too lazy to give you them all at once. And as we established, you might be a stalker, so giving out all of my plan wouldn't be smart.  
I'll let you know what Raven does. Bye Finn.  
That still feels weird saying goodbye to someone who doesn't exist.  
_Anyways, bye._


	2. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke starts volunteering, but only after meeting Ravens friends

"I need you to come straight home after school, you start volunteering today." Her mom said as Clarke finished descending the stairs.

"I don't know if it'll be straight but okay."

"Clarke!" She bit her lip to keep herself from giggling out loud, turning to her mother with a small smile on her face.

"It's not like there's any reason for me to go anywhere after school. I don't have any friends, remember?"

"And you'll never have any if you keep that attitude."

"True. I didn't want prison inmates for friends anyways."

"Clarke I swear to-"

"Bye!" She slammed the door shut behind her and collapsed against the door. "Dear lord let me get through this day." She mumbled, pulling her bag up and walking to school.

She was not going to get through the day.

"Well what do we have here? If it ain't Clarke, the girl who doesn't know when to shut up!" She looked up from her spot against the lockers and groaned.

"That insult was so terrible I think you gave me cancer." She kept a blank face despite wanting to laugh at how quickly Raven got mad.

"You best watch your-"

"If the next word is mouth, I'm going to hang myself at how predictable you are." The girl next to Raven snorted, immediately going back to an 'intimidating' look. Clarke rolled her eyes and hide her journal under her bag.

"Raven, Octavia, what's going on?"

 **_Rule 3: No crushes_ **  
_I know what you're thinking, Finn. 'You can't help who you fall in love with.' But as of right now, and with everything that's happened, having a crush is not a good idea. Neither is dating, but that's a different rule for a reason we will get to later on._

Clarke looked anywhere but at the girl who just showed up. 

"Is this the girl you have been complaining about? Clarke?"

"No I'm the other obnoxious new girl she's complained about." She looked at the girl and gave a fake smile. "Hi."

"Raven was right when she said you were annoying."

"Should I be surprised that you are siding with her?" The bell rang and Clarke sprang up, grabbing her journal and smiling at the trio. "I'd love to stay and chat- wait actually no I wouldn't. See you in class Rae!"

Even though she was slightly concerned that her lip would bleed if she bit it any harder, Clarke knew it was best not to laugh at how loudly Raven was cursing at her. She wasn't afraid, she was just concerned that the nurse would be as good as a prison Doctor, and if Raven was going to hurt her she would prefer to have someone capable of putting a band-aid on a paper cut.

She could hear Raven still cursing by the time she entered her first period class. She sighed, realizing how long the day was going to be.  
She definitely won't survive.

.

She knew her mother was going to yell at her for leaving the door open, so Clarke figured she could at least try and relax for a minute before the yelling started.

"Clarke!"

Needless to say, Clarke did not get a minute of relaxation.

"Yes Mother dearest?"

"I am so done with you- just go take a shower. We leave in an hour."

"If you're done with me then why don't you just leave me in a weird alleyway or something?"

"You don't think I've tried? One time I even left you at a park but no you wouldn't stay there. Now go get ready!"

Half an hour later ( and half a shampoo bottle) Clarke was shifting uncomfortably next to her mother as they arrived at the hospital.

"I still don't see why I have to be here. The only thing I get to do is wear scrubs and entertain old people."

"Stop complaining! You are getting on my last nerve!"

"You've been saying that for six years!"

"Get out of the car!" Clarke laughed as she jumped out, watching her mother grumble as she led them into the hospital.

 **Day 2**  
_Volunteering wasn't that bad._  
_At least this time around my scrubs were the right size._  
But I was kind of distracted the whole time so I guess I didn't really get much done.  
_At lunch_ _today Raven and the girl I am amusing to be Octavia approached me and 'accidentally' managed to dump my trey- which was about a foot away from me on a table- onto the floor. Lucky me I was able to jump out of the way in time (not really luck, it was just obvious) to not have the imitation spaghetti dumped into my lap._  
I still don't know the name of the other girl, which I'm actually grateful for. If I know her name it'll be harder to follow rule three.  
I don't know how I'm going to _survive, Finn._  
_I just hope I do._  
See ya. 

_  
Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I met a girl around my age while I was volunteering. She's pretty cool, but she hasn't told me her name (which I guess is fair enough, I didn't bother to tell her mine). There's something off about her though... I just don't know how to describe it._


	3. Day 5

**Day 5**

_It has been the worst day of my life._ _Never thought I'd be saying that about a Friday. But to basically understand how my day feels, just take being thrown off a cliff, the love of your life dying, being told that people die when your in charge, and seeing the love of your life one more time before they're gone forever._ _Now multiply that by being hit by two cars, dealing with high school girls who think they rule everything, and then volunteering for three hours._ _I guess I'm not being fair to you, Finn. I haven't exactly told you what happened._

"Hey! Clarke, is it?" The blonde sighed and faced whichever girl was annoying her now.

"Is whoever I am relevant? Cause if not I'd like to go to class now."

"I'm Octavia, Raven's friend."

"I could honestly care less who you are. Please go the hell away." Octavia frowned and stepped in front of Clarke, forcing the blonde to stop.

"I can-"

"Make my life miserable? I've heard that before and so far it hasn't happen. I'm not too keen on people who can't make promises they can't keep."

"Of course, especially with what happened to your dad." Clarke's eyes widned and Octavia smirked. "I have connections."

Clarke took a deep breath as she watched the other girl walking away, slightly mad at herself for letting her emotions show.

"Class I- I gotta get to class." She mumbled, holding onto her bag a little tighter and dragging herself to class.

_I don't know how the hell this octagon chick found out about my dad, but she better be ready for my fist hitting her face. Nobody brings up my past! Nobody is supposed to know._

**_Rule 4: Keep the past hidden_ **

_People can and will destroy you if you give out any information that might give them a reason to do so. To quote one of the greatest songs ever, "Don't let them in, Don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be!" (I actually don't like the movie, but the song is my favorite thing ever. (Don't you judge me Finn))_

_"_ Fucking bitch.." Clarke mumbled as she walking into her AP history class, not realizing the mistake she made.

"Would you like to repeat that, Ms.Griffin?" Mrs.Holfeder asked, tilting her glasses down and raising an eyebrow.

'She could compete in a ugly contest with medusa if she keeps giving people that look' the blonde thought. "I said ducking pitch. The batter on the mets didn't duck when the pitcher on the Yankees threw the ball at him so now one of my favorite players is out because of a concussion."

"You like the Mets? Gross!" 

"Nobody asked for your fucking opinion, Atom!" 

"Ms.Griffin! Detention, my class, after class!" Clarke smirked and saluted, slumping into her seat and mumbling a string of profanities. Suddenly a familiar looking girl stumbled into the classroom, clearly out of breath.

"Ms.Woods! Detention for being late!"

"Oh come on!" Clarke recognized her as one of Raven's friends.

"Don't make me add another day! I will see you and Ms.Griffin after class." The girl looked across the classroom and Clarke smirked, giving a small wave to piss her off. She huffed and sat down, pouting slightly as she glared at Clarke.

'Yeah commander, like it was my fault you were late.' Clarke rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone, discreetly sending her mother a message. She could see the girl glaring at her from the corner of her eye and she smiled.

She spent the rest of class shooting glares and mocking looks to the girl, holding back a laugh each time the teacher had yelled at the other girl for "disrupting" class. Clarke leaned back into her chair when the bell rang, watching as everyone but her and the other girl leave.

"Should I be surprised that you of all people managed to get detention on their first week?" The other girl spat.

"I wouldn't be surprised yet." The blonde shrugged, paitently waiting for whatever torturous thing Mrs.Holfeder was going to assign for them to do.

"I'll choose to not be surprised at all."

"Do whatever you want, raccoon, it's not going to get you out of here any faster."The other girl looked offended and was about to refute when the teacher walked back in.

"Get a Clorox wipe and start cleaning off the desks."

"What is this? The USSR?" Clarke said, enjoying the looks on the faces of the two other people in the room.

"Unless you want another day-"

"Of detention I better shut up. Yeah yeah, I've heard it before."

"Get. To. Cleaning." Mrs.Holfeder hissed through her teeth, taking a split second to calm down before answering the classroom phone.

"Looks like I won't be here to keep you company. Sorry about that Raccoon."

"My name is Lexa. And what do you mean? We're here until five."

"You are, not me. Watch." Clarke leaned back once again, smirking when Mrs.Holfeder hung up and made a really frustrated face.

"Ms.Griffin you are excused. For today and today only." Lexa looked shocked as Clarke stood up and started walking towards her.

"Perks of actually being a good person." The blonde said, laughing as she skipped out of the room. 

She stopped laughing when she saw the look on her mothers face.

"Clarke you have been in school for FIVE DAYS. Can you please just go ONE WEEK without giving me grey hairs?" Clarke bite her bottom lip and looked down.

"How about white hairs?" She asked, keeping her face stoic as her mother let out a scream of frustration.

"That's it. You are walking to the hospital." Clarke's eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"That's not a funny joke.."

"It's not a joke! I am sick of the way you are treating me! Either find a new ride or have fun walking." Her mother turned sharply on her heel and started walking away.

"Mom come on." Her mother didn't stop walking and Clarke started going after her. "You can't be serious it's a ten mile walk from here! Mom!"

Her mother kept ignoring her and the blonde sighed, realizing that her mother wasn't going to change her mind. She held onto her backpack a little tighter and started walking out of the school.

She wasn't surprised when she got to the parking lot and her mothers car wasn't in sight. 

_She actually fucking left me, Finn! At first I was mad, then I started feeling a little guilty. But around twenty minutes later this douche canoe came by..._

Clarkegasped and fell onto the sidewalk, gritting her teeth in anger and pain as she watched a group of jocks were laughing as they drove away.

_Those fucking dicks! They ran into me! I swear to god the next time I see Raven I'm going to..._

She slowly got up and started limping towards the hospital, slightly glad she was heading there in the first place.

"Second times the charm!" She felt herself being thrown towards the ground again as the same group of asshats hit her again.

"Screw this!" She got up even slower and moved herself as far away from the street as she could, using the walls from stores to keep herself up.

She was nearly thirty minutes late for volunteering when she finally got into the hospital. Her mom lectured her for about thirty minutes (Failing to see the blood running down her daughter's leg) before forcing her to do twice the amount of volunteering she's actually signed up for.

By the time Clarke had gotten home it was dark and she was angry, tired and in pain. She completely forgot to check her leg as she climbed into her bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.


	4. Day 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So last chapter it was a Friday, and this chapter starts on Monday.

"Raven you did not do that. Please tell me you didn't do that." Lexa looked at the blonde girl who limped by, having a bandage wrapped around her entire right calve.

"She deserves it, Lexa and you know it."

"No Raven, just because she's said a few things you didn't like doesn't mean she deserved to be hit by Bellamy's jeep." The mentioned blonde suddenly looks over their way and Lexa is immediately thrown off. The blonde girl actually looks...sad?

"Raven? I- I wanted to apologize." Clarke says, sounding defeated. Raven smirked, and leaned forward.

"Did you now?" Raven gives Lexa a Would-you-look-at-that look. The green eyed girl wants to roll her eyes at how her best friend can be so full of herself at times.

"Yeah, I've actually been wanting to apologize for awhile. I was being completely obnoxious when we first met, and I felt like that wasn't very fair of me to judge you so quickly." Raven motions for Clarke to go on. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry...for believing that you could be a decent person."

Lexa's eyes widens and so do Raven's.

"You know I was actually on my way to the hospital when your buddy hit me. Twice. You're really going to stoop as low as injuring someone while they are on their way to volunteer? If you want to think I'm a terrible person then maybe you should redefine what terrible means to you cause obviously you are the biggest hypocrite I've ever had the dishonor to meet." Clarke glares angrily and walked off. Lexa couldn't help but notice that the blonde didn't smirk like she usually does, which makes her feel off.

"She could have said that she was going to volunteer just to make you feel bad." Octavia pipes up, looking to Lexa for backup.

"It would make sense though. If she was volunteering. She once told me she wasn't afraid of me beating her up because her mother works in the hospital." Raven says, looking guilty for a second before rolling her eyes. "Whatever."

Lexa frowns slightly and looks in the direction that the blonde had walked to. "Whatever."

...

**Day 8**

_So maybe it wasn't the best idea to tell Raven off in front of everybody. But it was totally worth it! Especially to see how Lexa looked so guilty for something she didn't do._ _The only problem, Finn, is that nearly twenty three assholes shoved me into a wall or locker, and class hasn't even started yet. At least they didn't throw slushies at me like they do in glee.... Okay scratch that last part because someone just dumped their ice coffee down my back and trust me, it is not pleasant._

Clarke groaned and shoved the girls bathroom door open, glaring at the freshman and removing her shirt without warning. The two freshman look in horror and the blonde scoffed when she heard one of them whispering that she was going to rape them.

"I have standards that neither of you meet. Now leave before I decide that I should take off my bra." The girls scrambled out of the room and Clarke laughed, wetting a few paper towels and attempting to reach her back.

"What do you want, Raccoon?" The blonde looked up and through the reflection of the mirror she saw Lexa.

"Do you want some help?" Lexa asked, still harboring a guilty look.

"No thanks, I'd rather not have some weird drawing on my back." 

"Why do you think that everytime someone wants to help you it's some sort of prank? Why can't you accept that I actually want to help you?" The brunette asked, raising her voice slightly in a desperate tone.

**_Rule...probably 5 or 6:They are lying_**

_It is always some kind of prank, Finn! They act guilty about something, offer to help you, and then throw you into a water-filled ditch once you feel safe enough to trust them. You know that saying "shoot first ask questions later"? Basically you have to do that when someone offers help. If they survive the shot, then maybe you can give them a chance to prove they actually want to be trusted. But knowing most people they don't care if I trust them or not. So...in my case I'm just gonna keep shooting until I know they won't survive._

_"_ Because all of you popular people are the same! Why do you care so much? Just leave me alone." Clarke started to wipe off a part of her shoulder, only to stop when the paper towel was suddenly taken away from her. She jumped when she felt her back getting cold and wet.

"You don't trust people easily, I get that. I used to be the same way." Lexa had one hand on the blondes shoulder and was using the other to gently wipe off Clarke's back. "But trust me when I say that you can't live life that way. You need to let someone in."

"Yeah, sure cause that's worked out so well for me." Clarke took the hand on her shoulder and removed it, spinning around to face Lexa. "Thanks for your concern, but I don't need it."

"You will need it." Lexa went over to where she had dropped her bag and opened it, pulling out a shirt and tossing it at Clarke. "If you change your mind, I'm sure you'll know where to find me."

Clarke watched as Lexa left the bathroom, biting her bottom lip before pulling the shirt over her head.

_Thanks to Raccoon I had girls/girls/boys stuck in my head all day. And the image of Bredon Urie practically naked. Also I screwed up again Finn. I was actually debating on whether I should or shouldn't trust Raccoon. She just seemed..._

_Sincere._

_I know she's probably only acting. But that's also a problem. She must be one helluava actress._

The blonde spent two of her classes mouthing the words to the song stuck in her head, only stopping to occasionally call someone an idiot for stating an obviously wrong answer to a simple question. At lunch she made sure to sit as far from the trio (mainly Raccoon, but she wouldn't admitted it if asked. Hell, she even refused to tell Finn.) as humanly possible and kept her back towards them.

She spent the rest of the day repeating the same process as the morning, only this time throwing out cruder insults (with the occasional  cuss word) and getting scolded by her teachers several times. She was left alone by Raven for once and Lexa didn't bother to even look in her direction, or so she thought.

The green-eyed brunette actually couldn't keep her eyes off of Clarke, only looking away at any sign that Clarke might look in her direction. She knew Raven could see her staring at the blonde, but most of her didn't really care. There was just something about Clarke that didn't make any sense at all, and Lexa wanted to know what it was.

...

From:Unknown

Are you going to volunteer today?

To:Unknown

I wasn't really planning on it, why?

From:Unknown

I'm having a bad day

To:Unknown

bad day like 1 or bad day like 12?

From:Unknown

42

"Shit." Clarke mumbled, getting up and searching around her room.

_Do you remember when I told you about that girl I met while volunteering? Well the thing is, she has a heart condition that's pretty messed up. Some days she'll be fine and others she'll be in so much pain it hurts me just to think about it. We call those days 42._

To:Unknown

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Clarke pulled on a sweatshirt and threw on her worn-out converse before shoving her phone into her pocket, shouting out a lame excuse as to where she was going to her mother.

_She's got no one, Finn. During the five days I've volunteered absolutely no one has come by and visited her. No Family, friends, no one. Shes kind of like me in that sense. She hasn't even told me her name. All I know is that it says Woods, A. on her medical bracelet and that she likes some girl group called Little Mix. That part is weird because she doesn't seem like the type to like that kind of music, but then again there's not much I can say about her..._

_Which is why she might be the perfect person to trust! Thanks Finn, this talk has really helped._


	5. Day 8 part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a short chapter :/  
> Hope y'all enjoy.

Clarke smiled at the nurse working the front desk, politely mentioning that she was just visiting someone today, before hopping up the stairs. She nearly passed out by the time she got to the fourth floor, cursing at herself for not taking the elevator. She fell onto the floor and ignored the stares of doctors and visitors as she let out an exaggerated groan.

"The things I do for people." The blonde mumbled. After laying still for nearly ten minutes Clarke barely got into her feet, taking a moment to stablize herself, and started walking down one of the many long hallways.

"Fucking hell I hate this damn hospital. All these impossible to find rooms."

_I swear to god Finn I passed her room over five times before actually finding it. If that isn't the saddest thing..._

"Hey, I'm he-" 

_I change my mind. Seeing her like that..._

Clarke moved into the room quietly and sat down, biting her lip as her eyes looked over the figure. The girl laying in the bed was on her left side, clutching a stuffed dragon like her life depended on it. Her eyes opened slowly and the pained look on her face lessened.

"Clarke." 

"I'd say you're name back but I still don't know it." The girl smiled lazily and threw her dragon at the blonde.

"I'm still not telling you." Clarke laughed, picking up the toy and giving it back to the girl. "You remind me of my cousin."

"You sound old."

"I'm serious. If you lost all of the sass you'd be just like my cousin." The girl looked sad for a moment and looked down at the dragon. "It's been a while since I last seen her though."

Clarke sat down and looked at her curiously. "What do you mean by that?"

"Last time I saw her was around five years ago, before my heart started going bad. I, I didn't want her to see me like this." 

"Like what?" Clarke asked, already knowing what the response would be.

"Like I'm weak. I'm always so tired and I'm in constant pain. I want her to remember me the way I used to be, not what I am now." 

"You, are not weak. Maybe you aren't exactly who you used to be, but you are still strong. Just in a different way. That's the thing about strength, just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. It's like..." Clarke bit her lip, her eyes lighting up when she found the analogy she was looking for. "It's like energy. It cannot be created or destroyed, just transform from one form to another. You used to be strong in the physical way, but now you are strong in the way that really counts. Your strength is the reason you are still here, fighting your condition. Isn't that a beautiful thing?"

The girl sat quietly for a while, cracking a small smile before turning to face Clarke. "And here I thought you were a delinquent who insults people because you had nothing better to do."

The blonde rolled her eyes and leaned back. "I just didn't want you looking like a sad puppy for the rest of the day, I was afraid someone would come in and then have to regret adopting you."

"Whatever blondie, I think you really do have a heart."

"Just like I think you have a name." The girl groaned and threw her dragon yet again. 

"A name you'll never get."

..

_Her names Anya._

_It took nearly an hour to get it out of her._

_.._

 

_"_ You seem to be feeling better, _Anya."_

_"_ I regret ever speaking to you."The younger blonde laughed and leaned back into her chair. "And yes, I am feeling better. Watching you fall out of a chair is rather fun."

"That was your fault! You wanted your damn toy back."

"Don't make fun of Fireball! He has more friends than you!"

Clarke gasped in shock and turned her back on Anya. "For your information, I like being alone!"

"Oh really? Then why are you still here?"

"Because you happen to be lonely. Like always! Where are your parents?"

"To hell if I care."

"You probably do."

"Fuck off! I bet I see my parents more than you see your mom!" Clarke smiled sadly, looking down and mumbling in agreement. Anya frowned and reached out, placing her hand on top of Clarke's. "Hey, I was just kidding."

"I know, the truth just hurts sometimes."Anya yawned and grabbed one of her pillows, cuddling with it as she slowly closed her eyes.

"Hey! I'm still here!"

"You can leave, Ms.I-Like-Being-Alone." Anya shifted again, grabbing something and turning back to face Clarke. "Put Fireball on that table on your way out."

"Fine. I'll see you on Monday."

"It is Monday."

"Then I'll see you on Wednesday! Geez." She placed the toy dragon down in the requested spot before walking away, smiling slightly as she heard Anya laughing. 

...

"Where have you been all afternoon?"

"Hanging out." Clarke replied, scrunching up her nose at the aroma of her house.

"Oh? Finally made a friend?" Her mom asked, continuing to stir a pot without looking at her daughter.

"Something li- What are you making that smells like rotting flesh?" 

"It's a new recipe." The blonde raised an eyebrow and shrugged, dropping her things before stalking off to her room.

_**Rule Who Cares Anymore** _

_Its best to just let certain things go, especially when you don't care._

Clarke laughed, finding herself very amusing (Because in all honesty, who doesn't find themselves amusing?). She put her journal down and stared out her window, watching the sun set with curiosity. She rolled up her sleve and shuddered at the familiarity, clenching her fist tightly.

'Not again, never again.'

The blonde closed the curtains and shut the lights off. She crawled into her bed and prayed that sleep would come to her easily, only to be left tossing and turning for several hours to come.

..

She gives up at 3:15 a.m.

Practically ripping the curtains open, Clarke opened the window and climbed out. The second her feet were on the ground she took off running, only hoping she could find what she was looking for.

 


End file.
